where we are today

Not much has happened... I am pretty much stuck home except when Eileen takes me out to lunch. All I seem to do is sleep and watch TV but hopefully when they take that damn drain out my mobility will increase.

As of right now, this totally sucks. My arm still hurts like a mother... I wake up to take a shower and to hope that night comes soon so that I can go to sleep and time would go faster. I realize patience is not my middle name!

Tomorrow I see surgeon#2 and I suspect all he is going to do is pull the drain out (I hope) tell me that it looks great and send me home with some new exercises. I don't believe he will ad anything that we don't know yet. For that we will have to wait till Thursday when we see surgeon #1

Finally done!

After 4 months and change, sweater cancer 2.0 is done. Hallelujah and all that stuff. I was going blind and crazy by the end, but it is done done done. Mr Lemire is officially off the sweater list for a few months.

Best questions yet.

Dear Dr Decamp:

Will I be able to still make those farting sounds with my armpit?

me

PS.... this was Jessie's question and a great question at that... (btw great card!)

Did that hurt??

Paul devised this idea were he cut up a small slice in the armpit of a and I can pass the drain collection bulb and put it in the shirt pocket. This system has worked beautifully so far. The visiting nurse came in today to check up on the drain and the wound and was very impressed with the contraption. Paul had left the bandage over the wound with temporary tape after my shower so that she could check out the wound. As expected, that passed with flying colors... however I had a complaint about "goop" appearing to clog the drain tube, she said "oh that is easy, you basically proceed to milk the tube and it will work itself through". She then proceeded to do this as if it was a basement sump pump. I unleash a few expletives in Spanish AND English... at which points she says I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WOULD HURT. FUCKING OUCH!

one more technical point...

It seems that the doctors have some doubts as to all the stuff that they did take out and some of the stuff left behind. In order to clue in the radiologist as to where these areas might be, the left a few pieces of metal pointing at the areas they want to particularly pay attention on my next scan.

Also, this drain thing I have connected to my armpit is getting very old. It is draining less and less every day, but it is a pain in the ass. Luckily, I think it will be removed on July 1st when I see surgeon #2.

The technical stuff

The generous incision is very good looking and Paul has taken over changing bandages cleaning the incision. I really haven't been able to see it since it is under the arm in the armpit area and raising the arm hurst like a mother fucker. So far, the drainage is consistent and the correct color.

The muscles areound the incision are incredibly sore and if it weren't for the vicodan it owuld be unbearable. From what I understand, both surgeons were putting their enire hands inside the incision, OUCH! The good news is that my pumpkin help me take the first real shower today, and I fel human again. The man is going for sainthood, first my family and then me!

Oh great... the Celtics play tonight

While trying to sleep face up and on serious drugs, I realize that my room-mate was going to have the Celtics game on all night. The man could not stop complaining about verything and anything and had the TV as loud as he could. Fianlly around 2:00 when I thought it was over, he gets on the phone. Sleep was just not going to happen, but at least my favorite nurse Katie, was in charge of the floor and she visited me and cchatted with me when I was up. Love the staff at BI!

Overnite at the Hilton

It is very funny when the nursing staff greets you by name when coming out of the elevators. I wanted a private room, but thoracic surgery has move to the 6th floor and the accommodations are certainly not up to snuff. I had a room-mate who would not shut up talking, but I was nice and high on a combination of morphine and percocets... YUMMY! The pain in my chest cavity is pretty bad 7 out of 10, but they must have strapped the arm down while doing the surgery in some weird ass position because it hurts like 2 vicodans/every 4 hours. The wording of the surgeons has been very interesting..." we accomplished what we set out to do" but I am not sure what that really means.

BI Hilton by the women on the street reporter

The whole family arrived at the BI Hilton at 5:45am. Mimita came in looking composed and smiling in his sweatpants and T-shirt. In typical BI fashion where things go like clockwork by 6:45 Mima was going to the much awaited surgery. The fact that the surgeon came to meet and reassure everyone by 8:00 always works like magic and again, even if scared, there is comfort in knowing that our Mima is in the best hands. Promptly at 10:30 the Drs. (yes, including the handsome one who does not look as handsome in his surgeon gown) came in to explain that they had done "everything they set out to accomplish". By 2:00 Mimita was back in the room looking very handsome: good color, a smile and even tried to keep up with the conversation. Nothing like having a conversation with Mima on drugs! He could be leaving the hospital as early as tomorrow or the next day.

As I try to describe the scene at the waiting room I will need to go to Tolstoy for guidance. He said, "All happy families are alike; each dysfunctional family is dysfunctional in its own way." For the purists, yes, I am paraphrasing. We got through the day with a heavy dosage of humor and with my younger brother playing at times interference and at others, Dennis the Menace. I am forever indebted to him and may need to do his windows for quite some time. Paul wins the award for the most cool, collected and diplomatic person. It turns out Paul speaks Spanish better than anyone knew and when speaking in English he speaks so slowly and pronounces so well that my mother understands him perfectly. He won over my mother which is no easy task.

We all muddled through as best we could and if we keep this up, we might actually make it to Friday.

after dinner drinks

Granted I can't drink, but dinner was a relatively civilized event. Everyone was on their best behavior and barely an inadequate statement was made. There was still some excitement, but it was mostly expected. We drove home and now I am on the last obsessive point. My little bag with toiletries, underwear and soxs is ready and since there is nothing else to do, all I can do is obsess...

So for now... ciao... more news as soon as I can.

Less than 24 hours...

Thank you all for sending all the good vibes for tomorrow. I sincerely hope the surgeon gets a good night sleep, so I am grateful the Celtics don't play tonight. I am scheduled to be in the pre-op bed at 6:00am and in surgery at 7:30. I would expect to be out and semi-conscious by 11:30 or so... unless I am asleep in which case, I am just catching up on my beauty sleep. The plan is that I will be home by Thursday.

Because I only bring you actual analysis and I am going to be indisposed, we have hired a women on the street (Eileen) to fill us in on the events while I am out like a light. Those blogs will be posted on Thursday.

In the meantime, the family is arriving in 2 hours or so and the big top starts at around 5:30pm with the preprandrial events.

When they are trying to help...don't complain

It was very interesting to see how other people react to the questionnaire they give you before the Pre-Op or the MRI. I had three instances today in which the patients filling the forms kept bitching and moaning about how stupid the questions on the survey were. Do you have any previous conditions such as.. do you have metal anywhere in your body... these people could not a) shut up and b) realize that it is kind of important to let the nurses know if you have a metal part that the M in MRI (magnetic!) could damage. UGH!!! dense dense dense.

a little vacation

I realize that I haven't posted anything for a few days. I booked a mental trip and was having a lovely time in my happy place... there was fabulous food, great accommodations and a mean margarita... oh no wait that is Maroma in Mexico... well, anyway it was just lovely.. and no jet lag either. Don't I wish ...

I woke up at the crack of dawn (god knows why) for my pre-op and MRI appointment, both easy things (except for the needle before the MRI). Since I have about 2 hours between appointments, I plan to do some knitting... 100 rows to go and I finish that infernal sweater. The Monday night dinner is turning into a carnival... all it needs now are a few side shows, considering those who will attend, a side show will be expected.

1 week to go

and it seems the preparations will be as big as a feast day for a saint in the North End of Boston... Mother is coming and my brother will play the role of handler, hopefully there will be no casualties.

Today, I wound myself up to the point of making myself ill. Interesting that once I was by myself, I was able to bring myself back to my regular RPM's.

I am pre-op again....

A date has finally been set Tuesday the 17th, I need to be at the hospital by 6:00am. That should be no problem since I doubt that I wwill sleep much the night before. Now, the next step is to knit like a maniac and finish as much as possible Paul's sweater (I have one arm to go) get my guys at work set up for my absence of 1 week from work and then do my pre-op appointment at the BI Hilton and have another head and neck MRI.

I am catiously optimistic about the whole thing...

When generous doesn't mean giving

As if I wasn't anxious enough, the doctor was running about 1 hour late...FUCK FUCK FUCK... for once can you people be on time?!?! Finally he shows up; about 39 years old, super cute, beautiful eyes, salt and pepper hair... very handsome in an English royalty kind of way... SO he starts talking and very confidently proceeds to explain what I was in for... an "S" shape GENEROUS OPENING... excuse me you handsome bastard... generous??? what ever happened to micro surgery and all that stuff? They will need to cut a muscle (pectoralis minor) vacuum the cancer out and deal with the lymph nodes. We already knew most of that, but still... generous?? damn!

The downsides are still the lymphedema and the high probability of numbness under the arm. Paul has volunteered to deal with the drainage tubes that I will have for 2-3 weeks (thank heavens!) and it all seems to be scheduled for either this Tuesday or most likely next Tuesday. How do I feel about it.... Let's get this shit done soon PLEASE!

TiCk ToCk

Once again 24 hours to find out what the fuck they are going to do. Surgeon #2 sees me tomorrow for the what I assume will be the scary speech. I am sure that it will go from your arm will fall off..to don't worry it is easy and it will be a complete success... I will interject that I do need my arm and I am attached to it and to please do me the favor to also take the cancer mass out.

Having said that.. I am climbing walls since I don't have any coping mechanisms to wait or be patient...I want an answer and even if I want it now, I think tomorrow I will be told yes you are confirmed for surgery and wednesday I will sit by the phone waiting for the scheduler to tell me exactly when and what tests and exams I will need done. In other words how fast will the race be.

For now.. I knit and wait

Graduation Season

Saturday we went to a graduation party at the cookie makers house. You have heard me talk about this totally crazy but absolute fun family. To begin with, congrats to the grad... the dumb bastard was the valedictorian.. he is normal, well adjusted and great to talk to. I always think of that age group as the home of the monosyllable. For example... what are you doing.. nothing...who is going.. nobody, you get the drift. We settled down with another of the regular attendees to the house parties. Their son got involved in the conversation with us and it was wonderful to see opinions and points of view from a totally different perspective. I guess that all is not lost and some from the younger generation will enter society understanding already how to work it in the world of adults.

By the way, Ms. M had a lovely chilled bottle of Veuve CLiquot waiting for just me.. yes I did manage to drink 90% of the bottle and it was fucking yum.

First.. my birthday

I usually try to have a very low key birthday, somehow these days it is a landmark to hit a birthday. This year I will be 49... Aside from that, Ms M gave me unknowingly a fabulous bottle of Veuve Cliquot (more on that later)my sis gave me a fabu linen shirt and we all went to my favorite restaurant Capitol Grille. They had taken the steak tartar of the menu, but the made it special for me. Fucking yum...

Someone who will remain nameless left a message on my phone with the incredibly irreverent message Happy fucking birthday.... I loved it suits the sender and the receiver.