When generous doesn't mean giving

As if I wasn't anxious enough, the doctor was running about 1 hour late...FUCK FUCK FUCK... for once can you people be on time?!?! Finally he shows up; about 39 years old, super cute, beautiful eyes, salt and pepper hair... very handsome in an English royalty kind of way... SO he starts talking and very confidently proceeds to explain what I was in for... an "S" shape GENEROUS OPENING... excuse me you handsome bastard... generous??? what ever happened to micro surgery and all that stuff? They will need to cut a muscle (pectoralis minor) vacuum the cancer out and deal with the lymph nodes. We already knew most of that, but still... generous?? damn!

The downsides are still the lymphedema and the high probability of numbness under the arm. Paul has volunteered to deal with the drainage tubes that I will have for 2-3 weeks (thank heavens!) and it all seems to be scheduled for either this Tuesday or most likely next Tuesday. How do I feel about it.... Let's get this shit done soon PLEASE!