Mima's Blog

One Final Word...

2009-05-13T03:22:00.003-04:00

As a virtual monument to Mima I will be keeping this blog open for awhile so everyone can revisit the many twists and turns of his life from the mind of the man himself. The journey of his battle with his illness is, in itself, worth preserving and something to refer to as we make our own stops and starts in our complicated lives.

As some of you know who have taken this same path it’s very strange to contemplate the hollow emptiness that is left behind when the space a special person occupies was so full of sparkle, curiosity and humor. For all of you who have expressed concern about my own well-being; rest assured I’m doing okay and I am slowly but surely taking care of all of the “stuff” as I think Mima would have wanted. As you no doubt know, life is still unimaginable without him but, oddly enough, it still goes on.

I want to thank everybody for the many kindnesses showered upon me and his family; it makes it a bit easier to know we are in your hearts and thoughts.

We will all miss you, Mima, but I think none so more than I.

If you feel moved to leave a comment herein anything you might add would be appreciated.

Love and peace,

Paul Lemire-Maldonado

2009-04-13T19:11:00.000-04:00

Hello from Paul & Eileen

2009-04-06T11:40:00.005-04:00

Greetings from Nurse Eileensita, and Saint Paul…..

Pardon us for being facetious by using the above titles, but, hey, you’ve got to keep a sense of humor in time(s) of crisis.

Mima has now entered into “hospice” mode and we are mostly quietly sitting with him as the bell tolls, albeit not deafeningly so far. He is aware of the situation and tries to communicate with us, not always lucidly, but we know that his heart still beats in sync with ours.

When Mima started this section of the blog in December of 2006 his motivation was to keep friends and family informed of his diagnosis of lung cancer and its treatment. As we all know his battle has been epic, having suffered through major (and sometimes innovative) surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and steroid treatments. He never gave up hope or, astonishingly, his sense of humor as over the subsequent two-plus years he continued to travel, enjoy theater, read, knit and just generally be the wonderful contankerous soul he always was. If you scroll back to the beginning of this blog and read forward you will see the incredible journey he has taken in dealing with this dreadful disease.

Last week at the hospital, Mima decided to be on many cruises and visit many cities throughout the world. The power of his imagination and memories had him providing the Doctors with the following answers:
Dr.: Mima, do you know where you are?
Mima: Korea
Dr.: Mima, do you know where you are?
Mima: Ho Chi Minh City
Dr.: Mima, do you know where you are?
Mima: France today!
The fools kept asking, and Mima kept traveling……

At his job, from what Mima would say, (and from what I observed), he was a great boss and loved the family that he worked with. We do know he was a fine friend to a great variety of people of all (to coin a cliché’ maybe) ethnicities, cultures (both high and low) and he could compare the merits of fine food and the occasional cosmopolitan and Vive Cliqout champagne with the best of them. After 18 years of being partners, we were legally married in January of 2007, and he proved to be a devoted husband. Now, after almost 21 years, who would have thought we would end up and old married couple? Thank you Massachusetts!

Throughout this illness Mima has shown us how to love life intensely and transform. Even the most difficult moments turned into joyful events full of elegance, dignity, and some very serious fun.

So, what better time than right now, to pick your favorite spot in the world and travel with Mima. He wants to toast you…for making these past two years so tolerable. To his family, his friends, his co-workers and medical staff…. raise a glass of good wine, and enjoy the sights and company…...

Ching Ching
We’ll keep you posted.
Paul & Eileen

I woke up Monday and it is saturday....what?

2009-03-07T16:34:00.002-05:00

Saturday and Sunday were not extra anything days, however I've been tired and the headahces sort of came back (low level but back. The connection between my sarum and my rectum is really reminding me it is there, so what I do is either get on my side or sit on that ob-gyn looking position to releive any pressure. For whatever reason the "eyeball" test make things very apparent with thi illness. When I woke up Monday morning I knew there was somehting wrong...really wrong, so we headed for the ER at the Hilton. Upon the usual pee in a cup and let's check your vitals, the nurse said, Have you ha morphine ebefore.... BRING IT ON! one pill...one magic pill and the pain started subsiding. They then did a chest and head CT scan and the knowledge I was spending at least night here.

Chemo Session #1 - and the end of radiation

2009-02-27T04:50:00.003-05:00

The end of radiation is a very happy occasion, the decadron taper is almost over (that;s the pill for the seizures that keeps me up at night, and the radiation itself stops tanning my white ass. In addition, my digestive system tries to go back to normal. This time around chemo is 3 single sessions a couple of weeks apart so that I get a brake form the weird meds and so that my digestive system and the people in my head all get to take a brake. Yesterday was day 1 for session 1 of chemo.

You get there 1 hour ahead of your session for blood work, which when I looked at the results I was horrified. Everything was below normal ranges; you must understand that for Mr competitive was not going to do so either the nurse fiercely patronized me or it is true, I was in the high % of "under the circumstances" your Numbers are good. As far as I was concerned I need more protein in my diet and fast 30 minute IV flush and 30 minute poison, and I was out there. Compare with the 5 hour sessions from the previous protocol this was looking good. No Nausea, stomach confused but not much and an intense desire to sleep.

That got confused because I was almost at "0" with the steroids but I needed to boost to 16mg daily (which is getting up there, for the day before, during, and after the chemo. THEN I go back to 1mg... confused?? you need a power point presentation to follow this fucking thing, but of course I have one so we are on the way out of decadron...YEAH!!!

In the process St Paul bought me for one of our bicycles a contraption that I can use to get my legs back in working order. When the decadron is working, it chews up your quads and they are simply useless, so a little physical therapy is in order.

PS I would like to thank both Eileen Nightingale and my brother for keeping me company and sane during the weird ass week...much appreciated as always

well that is an interesting twist.

2009-02-24T15:00:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, we had an appointment with the brain oncologist, yes they one I really had issues with. This time around, we had about 20 minutes with the nurse practitioner who asked very good questions and was very insightful. Then, The "Dr" comes in. it is like somebody gave her a serious dose of chill...Much more civil, still and ass, but at least a conversational civil one.

So the current status is as follows: We have a node that glows (cancer) on the left armpit, We still have the people living upstairs in the brain, although many a shrunken in size and at least allowed the pressure to subside. It seems that the pressure in the brain is what was giving me the headaches, the light flashes (optic nerve issues)We also have the one in the back side between the spinal cord and the sectum whatever name it is. This last one we have been radiating for 10 days. Tomorrow is the last day of ass radiation....

On Thursday I start chemo. The interesting thing is that the original idea of the chemo was to take care of the armpit and ass cancer, but it seems that there is a study out that says that the chemo agent they are given me will go up to the brain cancers and hopefully reduce or destroy. I will have 3 sessions of this chemo, one every 3 weeks and the dosage of the chemo poison needs to be adjusted to see how it does with the brain cancerous masses.

As an aside, Now I have like dust bunnies running around my head because the debris left behind is not cleaned by anyone...I have issues with that!

This new chemo treatment has be doing massive amounts of a particular steroid that I hate and that I've have to take for the last 3-4 weeks. This is the reason why some blogs should have been edited by someone NOT on drugs!

Another 4 am...

2009-02-16T04:13:00.002-05:00

What the fuck... I am going crazy seeing the first plane (red eye of course) landing at Logan at about 5:05am I deeply apologize to all of you who suffer from insomnia because it totally absolutely bytes. Except a certain person who mmight be calculatin how many hertz the house is vibrating at...you have issues and nobody can solve those.

On the other hand, it is like having 30 hours in a day. I use to drink coffee in fairly large quantitites, mnow it is like IV straight to the vein! yummy

and that is one ugly MOFO

2009-02-15T15:04:00.004-05:00

Presenting the sacrum...who knew. I have mispelled, misquoted, and in general called the damn bone everything but what it is. So to those who ask... My Sacrum hurts... that is the bottom line.

Can you tell the steroids are clearing up? I can actually insert links!!

Walking the Sanctum

2009-02-15T10:08:00.002-05:00

We have done 3 radiation sessions so far, and my skin is beginning to have a certain tanning glow. In addition, sitting down is starting to become a touch annoying since there is this weird pressure back there. The nurse at BI (who I think rocks the world) gave me this incredible high tech pillow to sit for the long ride to NH and it was excellent. However, I am doing so much sitting and walking..(well more like Tim Conway) and it seems that I keep slowing down more and more when I walk. OH GOD I am walking like my mother... 1 speed and it is reverse!.

On the really good news front, I am on the last taper of the steroids so my brain will go back to normal soon...maybe I'll be able to speak in complete intelligible sentences for once!

The new fry cycle

2009-02-14T07:31:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you wonder how medieval a system of torture this radiation thing is. Well let me tell you, modesty goes very far out the window. The radiation for my pelvic-sanctum area requires 5 zappings... 3 in the posterior for which I am already developing a tan (ouch) and 2 on the side. The ones on the side are the most intense since they don't interfere with any other organs other than the cancer. The funny thing is that I have to put lots of moisturizer on the side because it looks crunchy peeling I had too much fun at the beach NOT!

Peace and Quiet

2009-02-14T07:26:00.003-05:00

At last...we are in Waterville and it is just quiet and beautiful... Slept 6 hours straight which these days in excellent. Repositioning all my Steroid purchases and organizing my room. What can I say an incredible OCD day awaits....HURRAY!

By the way, 1 more step down on the steroids starting today, thus sleep should be easier.

A shout out to my insane brother and wife (happy b-day!) who are driving to New Orleans for Mardi Gras...HAVE FUN!

Once again Logisitics Eileen

2009-02-13T08:34:00.002-05:00

Saves the day...Dr Dude appointment is at 2:30pm and the radiation session is at 3:15pm...somehow my head is in space and Eileen says we neeed to move...She is calling cause ethis is getting to tight ... Bottom line she is escorting me on a mad dash through the hospital so that I can reverse the order of things...radiation first then Doctor. Zap my ass and run back to the regular (now 2 hours late) appointment, where I will start chemo in 10 days. No more Jungle drug; now it is a common protocol for which I needed of boost of B12 vitamin and lots of folic acid. Let's see how this goes, at least it is a lot easier than the last two times.

What / where is my head at?....

2009-02-12T01:03:00.002-05:00

It is simple really.. I have developed the most severe case of OCD in the world...I live cleaning and fixing. As in the past, working from home and the hospital makes it bearable since I can actually think.

In the fun news department, we are considering taking the train cross country. I think that is on the agenda for March.

I have heard via email from a handful of long lost people and it has been very interesting what they suggest I do for my next bucket list event.

News from the visit with "mother" will be posted during the day when I am most lucid... Fraud is still taking notes and the event happened 5 days ago.

Where we are as of right now...

2009-02-12T00:59:00.002-05:00

Just so that we are all at the same page in the same channel. We started the next bout of radiation therapy yesterday. As you all remember from previous times, it is a long cold table and semi-nudity. It is quick, and not painful. We have 9 more of those treatments (Rectum-Sanctum. Also of note, we see the chemo Dr to see about those magical jungle pills.

A very very very long day

2009-01-30T23:00:00.009-05:00

Today was a very interesting day. Certainly one that as the day progressed Mr and Mrs Cranky did some tricks...nasty little fuckers...So we begin with the classic Ultrasound test... thump...thump...thump.... it is not a babies heartbeat, it is the sounds of my heart pumping extra for the gained 20 pounds of flesh, thank you IAGO)

Next, visit with new Radiation dude that seems to specialize in the so called "lower abdomen region" whatever that might mean. He looks, he prods, he questions AND THEN HE SAYS drop the pants we are going in... MOTHER OF GOD must they always surprise you that way... The good news was that anatomically everything was where it was supposed to be and appeared to be working... He did say, stop eating like a pig, it will be a bitch to work it out...Advice taken, (although I have eaten 1/2 box of sandwiches just writing this.

Meanwhile at the same time, my sister and brother are coordinating a quick visit to the homeland (URGH!) to see the immediate family and... nothing fancy, 400 of the closests cousins (KIDDING) Just a mall meet and greet and to see...(music please...) mother... After that we are planning some days by the beach to chill and chill some more.

and now, back to the hospital...He will see me after lunch to have yet my 4th mapping of my ass... Has anyone thought about the fact that I have lung cancer in my ass???? confused????TELL ME ABOUT IT. So what they do is the put you in the CT Scan and literally digitiza your ass. Then, this sadist ass comes over and does a series of tattoo's to use as reference points. As his nelliness (me)paints his nails black, (very goth of me don't you think?) I just think big tattoos got to hurt like a mother!

The new thing is that I have a big mass (not my brain) between my Sacrum and my rectum (latin terms to confuse the kiddies) . I like to think of it as between that place where your back looses it's name and the beginning of the ass. The object willl be to have them never EVER touch...I guess pain ensues. Not that this is not a pain in the ass anyway...

Now, we are all confused

2009-01-30T02:34:00.006-05:00

We all remember the PET-SCAN with the lovely Frappucino Mix flavor..foolishly I thought it was about the brain tumors...Well,there they are throwing the in-field curve ball..TOTAL SCAN. That's all good, but now we know for certainty I have two more cancer locations...(what the fuck is it the Grand Opening week at Wal-Mart? More locations for your shopping convenience)... but digress.

One node is lighting my left armpit and the other one, much more colorful and active seems to be between my rectum and the spinal cord. Don't be alarmed yet, on Friday we are gettting the doctors to explain it all to us in a more clear concise fashion.

There seems to be a few new choices in the treatment area... 1 is the Cyber Knife, (very high tech but tomorrow will be explained, or a new chemo drug that I only take orally...let's face it, my veins need a rest!. Interestingly, when you hear the doctor talk to the drug company rep, it IS like a deal is going down with Pablo Escobar, it all sounded very exciting but the best is that the side effects seem to be very mild and I can travel WHILE doing chemo...fucking efficient even ick!

Does it look good, no... am I having fun from here to wherever there is...YOU BET, however..Roid Rage can and will get heads cut off for saying dumb statements!

holy crap, now what?

2009-01-30T02:17:00.003-05:00

Let's start with the WHAT THE FUCK PART... I am weighing 178 pounds...The heaviest I have ever been in my life..I look like a pregnant woman and I guess I have the mood swings and trades they get. To boot, my skin is NOT performing at it best since it stretching and contracting..JUST NOT PRETTY!

What a pig...

2009-01-27T16:21:00.002-05:00

After eating my way through every buffet line...massive steroids = 17 pounds gained in a little under 2 weeks. No more binge eating, until the ice cream bars are gone...and walk walk walk.

EILEEN...your brother is an official PORKY CERDO

what insomnia?

2009-01-27T01:54:00.003-05:00

Normally, I sleep solid, no waking up, no tossing about. With the steroids, that has gone out the window and I find myself doing laundry at 3:00am. Granted I've cleaned all my sweaters and rerranged all the shelves, but even I can recognize ocd a mile away.

If only one person in a couple suffers from insomnia, shouldn't there be 2 bedrooms so that they can actually sleep or be awake independently? I am very confused since it is I who tell Paul these days to wear earplugs since I know I will be making noise...

and another thing, this radiation session has my skin soooo dry that the tip of the fingers are cracked and in pain. I've taken to using plastic gloves in the house to attempt to maintain a semblance of civility...

is it time for coffee yet???? 5:00am soooooonnnnn

A peaceful week-end in the frigid mountains

2009-01-26T19:24:00.005-05:00

I would like to know how 3 Caribbean basin humans enjoy 4 degree weather! It appears that I really should only drive during the day and NOT when my energy and concentration is 0. But, being the stubborn ass I am, I wanted my car up in NH. Enter sis/brother in law and pumpkin...Let's patronize Max Headroom they thought to htemselves...between the 3 they managed to make me think I had free will.... yeah right. I do have to admit to sort of forgetting where I was going, but maybe that is really not so bad...is it? I have slowed the pace of life on purposes to smell the roses better.

for 3 days, we did nothing...and I mean absolutely nothing. We ate very well, had lovely naps and conversations while napping. Right know, I can fall asleep next to a column for 5 minutes and think days have gone by. Just lovely. The drove me back home today and all I can say is that it was the perfect week-end. Frank took care of all the work stuff and emails flew back and forth...

Tonight there seems to be a lecture In my head by Pirandello and Italian Comedia del Arte. It only makes sense since I have been craving pounds of prosciutto with melon....

The shrink

2009-01-25T04:56:00.002-05:00

I have been going on and very off to the shrink nnow for at least 20 years. He is concise, non-verbose and incredibly astute. During this time of meetings with small and large dwellers, he has been very clear. Careful with the rhoid rage is very real. My so called thoid rage has taken 2 patterns, on line shopping and ice cream bars at all hours. Harmless so far.

In addittion to that, he classifies me as black/white with a volume of 8 or so, now with the steroids he puts me about 12 in intensity with a color variation of "0" it either is or it ain't.!

Las night I work for real work for aout2 hours and had a small board meeting qith the tenants. Since I know that drugs and sugar makes them happy, they will stay away from disturbing my sleep. I also looked carefully at the bottle and it DID say I could take 2. YUMMY - 5 STRAIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP. Granted it is early, but I am a new man!

PET Scan

2009-01-23T06:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a class A day.. I had a Petscan at noon and lots of errands to do. Frank met me at the parking lot at Target to exchngae the 2009 reviews that he needed to scan and send to coporate and all that good corporate stuff.

As I needed towels to change the color scheme in my bathroom, after all, we all deserve a hint of color!
Then off to the scan. They changed the protocol to now only have 200mls of the new and improved Frappucino Mint and no Barium. It was actally not bad and made the experience 100% better. Since I was exhausted, I slept for 2 hours inside the scan tube. Most refreshing I must say. Then dinner with sis and G. I ate like a pig!

To those who don' steal..

2009-01-23T05:11:00.004-05:00

Well goody for you... Imagine my surprise yesterday when the UPS man pulled up with a Neimn Marcus gigantic box of Bulgari Product... I mean really, a little pomade for my dry scalp... tHIS PACKAGE IS GLORIOUS. Someone (The Divine Ms M of course) sent it to me. Well!!! I love this this woman (and you all know that coming from me is a lot)! She is thoughtful, always tere and quick!. Never known her to miss much if any. We met long time ago and I always think of her as one of the true legends in hte world. The ex-boyfriend was catapulted like a bad James Bond movie ( GOOD!) Love te new ex-husband. Most of all just plain adore her!

tHANK YOU FOR THE PRODUCTS, COMING FROM YOU EVEN IF IT WAS Mary Kay I would love it.

jugs kisses and a big smooch!

All of us in my head

PS Andy, that does NOT mean you are of the hook!

Submarine communications

2009-01-20T15:31:00.002-05:00

For whatever reason, the tumor has given me the super power not to be able to cradle the phone between the neck and the collarbone.. Today as I was trying to show over the phone to my brother how well I was doing, I saw the phone take a 9.7 double forward somersault into the churning wash cycle hot water Luckily, the phone is now in heated recovery and once ahain receiving calls. I could not have dunked the 3rd base unit could I???? it ha to be the official first phone!

Company meeting

2009-01-20T03:47:00.002-05:00

At 2:00am, some of the guys upstairs decided it was time for a company meeting. I am sure they were just hungry...On the way down from NH we stopped at an credible yarn store. Once again ST Paul will have a fabulous sweater... It looks so complicated it is ridiculous, BUT I can't wit to start on it already. What usually happens in my manic psychotic states is that I backup several projects ata time. Good catholic guilt keeps me in track to finish everything. I have a red one for me that is only missing the arms, then Paul's sweater and then a lime green linen one for me. After that there is one I am already eyeing. In the meantime I have to learn how to saw by hand and with a machine, quilting has always been up there but too much sitting, so never tried it. Ms McKinstry...sawing classes for Madame Thenardier please!

Today after radiation, closet cleaning, shoes polished, haircut and finish that red arm for my sweater... 28 hours a day sounds like a good plan. No time to waste. HOWEVER, if you see me leaning against a column, pehraps nap time is in order

Oh yes...work tooo

unexpected treats

2009-01-19T20:54:00.003-05:00

and then when you least expect it you get treats... and I love them all... be it grape homemdae jam, gummy bears, gingerbread, or lemon cookies... we all thankyou...

least expected rr

2009-01-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

Upside down pineapple caked

2009-01-19T07:01:00.002-05:00

Many of you have responded to make sense of all of this. There is none. We play with the little people in my head and this morning we offer them pancakes with real NH maple syrup. Maybe the sugar will appease them or maybe not. All I know is that this will never make sense but we can certainly view it from a different angle. Don't waste time bitching that the roads are not sanded to the asphalt, just drive along singing your song... The world is not meant to be perfect or optimized... just enjoy it.

Havinng said that...coffee, shower and waking up the troops is my next task.

Grumpy, Bitchy, Water retention and the rest...WAKE UP

Tron conference

2009-01-18T11:42:00.002-05:00

I had to call a meeting of all the people in my head. Since the brain is basically a circular room, it was very democratic. I had to call it because some of the tubers wanted to shop online, and some wanted to go to Wally World. The online is done aleast for the clothing, now the Wally part. We will wait for my nehhew and his girlfriend to wake and then we will have a small breakfast # 3 for me. Much to talk about bf/gf expectatinos...oh the modern world...

tRON IS UP

2009-01-18T07:48:00.004-05:00

which means I am siting in bed and ready to go. It is a balmy 10 degrees and snowing. very pretty in that kind of frozen tundra kind of way. Everyone is in sleeping. I hit the wall at precisely 7:55 pm after a lovely meal and barely could make it to bed. Drugs and a lovely pillow kept me in their embrace till 4:00am when I got hungry. As I said before, Popsicles are my new Friend... That and baking powder gargles. I realize they don't mix. but it works

I hear the early skiers heading for the mountains and hope that one of the brings me coffee in bed. We were walking around Waterville last night and the mountain although cold, looked like it wanted to be sked by me.

Today, hopefully a lazy brunch and then some shopping, my OCD wants a couple of things.

hurry up and wait

2009-01-17T13:43:00.002-05:00

I really never told anyone at ht my head currently looks like a game of TRON. It is very strange to be able to see the little fuckers move around my brain. Clearly 5 small and 2 large. Freaky really. The other interesting fact is that you have a clear middle to the brain, think of it as your nose line... I have created a lot of pressure on either ised and the line is no longer in the middle. This in turn creates the stress points that seem to give me the headaches... and good god, they are wankers....

how to keep forwrd e energy

2009-01-17T12:32:00.006-05:00

Even though it is a balmy 7 degrees up here in NH, progress is being made. It appears that when the OCD kicks in, I snap out of my somber moods (and it was mighty dark last night. Of course there is a charge card that will hold the bag. Oh well, the price of beauty...what can i say. I used to always shave with The Art OF shaving products and I loved them. for some unknown reason, it popped up in my head again, so I went to the website and bought lotions and potions. Maybe not the anti-aging variety (let's face it, kind of late for that, but moisturizers and scented essentialy oils and fun hyper marketed fruit composts that are best left to a martini, but in this case my face will have to suffer a pomegranate mask.

The only really sad thing is that I will have to wait till next week to get them in the mail. I qwill also need to get new razor and blades for my new beauty regime..$2.99 a blade will hust not do

I've come to the conclusion that being OCD will costs someone, you need to store PROPERLY) your new product and fold it... Oh yeah, yesterday on the way up, we stopped at the LLBean outlet store in Concord; store was so, so, BUT it is the beginning of my South American wardrobe, casual yet elegant, and friendly enough to clothe 5 small tumors ( no names yet and 2 large one. At least they will be presentable!

not that I endorsing robbery

2009-01-16T17:32:00.003-05:00

HOEVER... if one of those executive frinds I have happens to be in the Ritz-Carlton near a bathroom cart and all of a suddeen the bar of soap or shampoo jumpinto your bag... it was an accident I swear Mr Bulgari really wanted you to have it

a trip blog

2009-01-15T16:42:00.004-05:00

Since I am basically in bed/sofa rest all the time, all I do is daydream, Today, my daycreaming has been derailed by 7 loads of laundry and a few work calls. I have yet to trully figure our how 2 people can have such laundry when i do laundry almost every 3rd day. Vive Le Wisk! hopefully a brake this week-end. we are going up to NH to freeze our asses somewhere selse. In the meantime, my head is wondering about lovely trip to south america.... Thank you to all that work with me the incredible assistance. No I am off to make beds and shower

a series of shortblugs

2009-01-15T15:31:00.002-05:00

why is it that antibacterial soap is now requiered??? regular soap not good enough for thousand of years? Drives me nuts!

the man with the iron mask

2009-01-07T09:53:00.006-05:00

For this session of radiation I only have 10 sessions. I suppose since we have to nuke 5 little guys and 2 larger guys that will be all the frying we need. The radiation button is set on high and I have been told WILL oose all my hair...shut up! I realize there is not much to loose, ut I don't need the reinforcement that little hair is better than no hair...hud!.. The making of the mask was very interesting since they basically heated up a white polymer that conforms around your ead since seizures are a problem in my current condition, I AM ALSO TAKiNG STEROIDs... (BRING N THE RUCKLOAD OF DONUGHTs!.it is expexted that my face will swell to fill out he mask and end up with some cris crosss around my face. Think of the marks on yournstake when you go to outback stakehouse. very pretty!

how about about an MRI for me

2009-01-06T11:41:00.006-05:00

for the lAsT TWO WEEKS or so I have been getting masive nuclear hedaches... every blue moon I missed an imporant exit or two but whatever...it got so bad that Frank had to double check my work...ImGINe The horrible pssibility yhat I made an error and 2 MR Morris has to check my work...!!!!

At any rate, they cheduled me for an MRI as I had requested and knew something was up when the tech asked to run some of the tests twice. aNOTHER NEWBIE AT TELLING ME bad news... I had cancer on my fucking head... The neurosurgeon would tell me the details later... OH JOy... The neuro dude tells me that I have 7 tumors 2 of sizeabLE DIMEsIONS. HEY CAN NE RADIATED TO REDUCE OR MAKE them GO AWAY. There is a 95% pozibility]ty they are metastasis of the original cancer, in other words, variaiions on a theme. so he is pretty sure a biopsy will bot be necessaty They are bsically inopreable (being in the head) time will tell once radiation tarts soon and trwatment is for 10 days/

I REALIE THAT THIS BLOG Doesn't kake any grammatical sesne, but i would like to thank all of you for reading my muings which should always start with bigger letters and make fucking sense

where did the inspiration go?

2008-12-07T13:51:00.002-05:00

I just don't have much to say these days...I know I know, that sounds so out of character. Lately I have been reading and knitting, nothing out of the ordinary in the book department, and certainly nothing exciting. It is like knitting for the sake of knitting. I haven't found anything challenging or fun. I will keep looking, but there might be a detour. Up in NH there is a little town called Centre Harbor. Very cute and charming village and a pretty wonderful restaurant called Canoe, but I digress...There is a terrific knitting store and next to it, there is a quilting store. A couple of weeks ago, we had the owner give us a very long and concise explanation if why a quilt is valuable or a work of art. It peeked my curiosity...minor problem is that I don't know how to put needle and thread to cloth, but that has never stopped me before. It is a possibility that will be my next project, but I just need to get bitten by creativity and that has been eluding me lately. For X-Mas we will be up here for a while..maybe the bulb will go on.

well that is a relief

2008-11-20T18:20:00.002-05:00

First the good news... after drinking the dreaded barium potion, this time citrus flavored, I had my scan this morning. How can I be getting used to the chalk soup? I was able to drink it in about 20 minutes... strange taste buds. As usual nurse Eileen was with me today... I think she just wanted to stay overnight at Quincy and the scan was the excuse. After the scan the next necessity was my coffee...thank heavens for coffee. Up we go to the 9th floor to visit Dr DeCamp... have I told you people that I just love that man?? Most people have to wait days for the Doctor to receive the results from the scans, Dr Decamp reads them himself and then delivers the news. This time around the news were excellent. No cancer, nothing strange inside. Needless to say we are VERY happy about this. Next scan is in 4 months.

After the doctors, it was time for my escape.. up to NH to my TV... KIDDING!! Actually, for me it makes a world of difference; obviously Caroline and Rich rather be unplugged and diconnected from it all.. to that I say.. goody for you, but not for me.

what's up??

2008-11-13T15:30:00.004-05:00

well I will tell you what's up. Not a hell of a lot, which is good. Still waiting on the cable to be connected up in NH, but that seems to be the way things are "up on the mountain". We have been coming up on a regular basis and discovering new towns and things to do. Last week-end the discovery was the town of Littleton, cute little town were we found a working mill that grinds their own flour. Paul bought some mix for corn bread, let's see how well that comes out.

By the way, we decided to go there because on the map, the words were almost as large as Concord and they were bold, so we figure, something must be important there. I know, fucked up logic, but it worked.

My brother visited two weekends, granted it was for about 24 hours, but it was very nice nonetheless. I took them all over the White Mountains since they don't have real mountains in Texas.

And now for the big news... we finally have a cable! The cable guy came in today and after 3 cable boxes, we are connected... hallelujah!

Aliens in the White Mountains

2008-10-24T13:51:00.002-04:00

I am sure Paul sent me this link thinking that they might be family or something. Considering that we are in the White Mountains, and the entire satellite dish issue, I might just call my cousins for a direct connection.

Is it so difficult?

2008-10-24T12:16:00.002-04:00

I froze for a couple of hours while the heat came up to temp, all to be here for the cable dude when he delivered my cable box Friday morning. He even tried to cancel at 8:30pm on Thursday because he was overbooked. Finally at 9:30am he arrived. The poor bastard had driven here from Burlington Vermont. He gets out of the van labelled DirectTV and I knew this was not going to be a happy morning. I thought we were getting cable and not a dish. He walks around the house with a thing that measures angle and signal connectivity...he goes up on the roof...he walks up and down the hill and then he comes into the house with the news. There are 4 trees in the way of the signal. It turns out that the dish has to point out to the southern sky, it also has to be at a 32 degree angle and all sort of other technical crap.

The dude apologized profusely and said that his supervisor would be out next week to see if there is anything that can be done to get cable/dish/satellite to work for us. At this rate it is going to be spring before I get my TV hooked up!

Bear Crap

2008-10-24T08:38:00.002-04:00

Good morning from Waterville Valley where it is a balmy 27 degrees. I woke up and went for coffee at Dunkins down the hill, and when I got back home I realize that there was a rather large hunk of crap on the driveway. I assume (and Rich correct me if I am wrong) that deers crap dainty little nuggets of crap, while animals such as bears leave rather larger deposits. Well, there it was...a big hunking chunk of crap. Maybe a moose dropped by...couldn't whatever it was have the courtesy of going a little further into the woods to do its thing? Animal manners are just atrocious!

Progress in New Hampshire

2008-10-23T19:27:00.004-04:00

For those of you who don't follow the Waterville Valley weather report (and let's face it who doesn't) my co-worker Cherie brought this to my attention. (weather Oct 22nd) If you click on the weather thing, you will see that we got our first snow. By the time I arrived here tonight, it was all gone, but it is colder that a MOFO.

By the way, I realize that the idea (for some) is to disconnect from the modern world and all that nonsense when they go to a mountain retreat, but me, being a city boy (alas from Puerto Rico) need the modern connectivity conveniences of DSL and cable TV. I drove up here tonight to finally (yeah right) receive the cable box and be here for the geeks from Best Buy so that they can install the TV and do their thing so that I can have TV radiation during the week-ends. I am to used to knitting, reading and watching TV while I do laundry and I am not willing to live without it.

By the way, speaking of temperature, last week the electrician connected the new programmable thermostats, they are suppose to warm up the house on Friday and let it get cold again on Sunday night. We have decided (although after today we might not) to have the low temperature at 50 degrees. Since I came up on Thursday, I had to manually set the temp to 68. It has been about 90 minutes and we are just cracking 58. The instructions say that it should be about 1 degree for every 5 minutes and I am sure we are on schedule for that, but all the surfaces especially the granite are cold cold cold. I fear that my mattress will freeze me on contact when I go to bed!.

I have to drive back to Boston either Friday night after the install or Saturday morning, after all I do have to do my laundry, but the reason for a city week-end is that my friend Luis as always, has invited us to the Berklee School of Music annual fund raising gala. Luckily, we don't have to pay for tickets to go to the dinner/dance, but it sure has been a lot of fun to go for the last 10 years or so.

the week that was

2008-10-17T13:19:00.003-04:00

This has been a very hectic week. The cruise ship I call work is currently registering 14 new guests to the offices. Supposedly all very important and worthy of some attention. On Monday the will receive their embarkation talk form me. It will basically be a "This is not Cunard, more like Royal Caribbean" I really hope they are easy and not high maintenance.

On Wednesday night I drove up to New Hampshire to receive the TV equipment that was going to be installed on Friday. The Best Buy experience has been pretty good, however, getting phone,dsl and cable in New Hampshire has been unbelievable! It took us 4 weeks to get phone service 8 weeks to get DSL and we are going on 9 weeks to get the cable hooked up. I spent yesterday about 1 hour getting the DSL to work, and today the lovely Maria from the Philippines helped me for 2 hours to connect the wireless network in the house. It seems that the router was not configured properly when it left the factory and I paid with 2 hours of chit chat while the computer turned on and off following Maria's commands.

Oh, by the way, last week-end we attended a lovely illegal wedding ceremony. It was simple, happy and although wearing a suit and tie at 87 degrees made me sweat, it was just very sweet.

As far as I can tell, fall in New Hampshire is pretty much done. Now we get what the real estate agents call "Winter Views" which means that you can see the mountain across from you through the bare trees.

Yes I'm here

2008-10-08T18:37:00.004-04:00

I realize that I left all of you hanging with the cold that I had last week. I can't say the cold is 100% gone but it certainly is better. I went to the GP doctor and was told "there is a big ass nasty bug going around, rest, plenty of water...blah blah blah" In other words, shut up and put up with it... no drugs for YOU! Bummer

Since there is really nothing going on, I haven't written any updates.. bad blogger, slap me please. We still don't have internet connection in the house in NH so I just don't even think about it. I have to admit that since the cable company is taking their sweet time in connecting us, all I do is sleep. In bed by 8:30pm and wake up about the same time in the morning.

Aside from that, worried about the economy as everyone is and dreading to look at my 401k, as a matter of fact, I won't even look at the envelope when it comes in.

I won't be updating the blog daily so please forgive me in advance. I like the boring not doctor driven life...

the sewer

2008-09-23T10:35:00.004-04:00

I have a cold..I sound like Marlene Dietrich underwater. Somehow Sunday night at about 3:00am it took hold of me and it hasn't let go. I left work early and came home to die on the sofa. To Paul's enjoyment, I lost my voice and now sound like a horse (also underwater). I watched Top Gear (don't ask, I get a kick out of the program)and proceeded to pass out till 8:00am today.

To summarize the only thing that doesn't hurt are my toes. How can a cold be so vicious so quickly?

Scotland and kilts

2008-09-21T16:27:00.010-04:00

This week-end we went up to see men in kilts..oh no wait, we went to see the Highland Games. Considering that mother nature gave us a perfect New England day and that the leaves are starting to change, we couldn't have ask for a better day. We spent the entire day running around the grounds of the event. First, we saw part of the games, caber throwing, walking the stones (500lbs combined) it is the WWE of hunky bulky men in kilts.

The event is held at Loon Mountain which is about 20 minutes from the house. Mighty convenient I say...After we watched the games and we had a typical Scottish lunch, I had something called a bridie and Paul had shepperd's pie. As a special treat, I asked casually to Paul if he would consider going up on the chairlift to the top of the mountain, he agreed and within seconds I had the tickets on hand. We took a regular chairlift up one mountain and then we took the gondola to the highest peak at Loon.

Just a perfect day!

Orchids in captivity

2008-09-21T16:20:00.005-04:00

Paul has been trying to grow orchids for a long time. Somehow, they never flowered in the house in Ashland nor did they bloom in Jamaica Plain. However, for some reason, the apartment in Marina Bay has given him the perfect conditions to work in. Here are some pictures... Lesley... how are your orchids doing?

Trim the hedges, do laundry...

2008-09-19T10:45:00.008-04:00

Today being Friday, we all know that I am doing laundry... very zeen for me. I can't get used to this system of laundry in two locations, but i am sure I will figure it out. Besides that the week has been very busy. Tuesday I had dinner with friends from high school and college, as a matter of fact he was my room mate in college and currently my dentist. They are very funny in a straight suburban old fashioned latin kind of way, but that is what makes it fun.

Today we have a wedding to attend to and I desperately needed to get a haircut, or trim the hedges as I call it. We all know there is not much hair on my head, but I hate when the edges are a mess, so of we go to my favorite barber, clippers and a straight edge razor do the trick. In less than 10 minutes, he has performed his magic and once again I look neat and clean. I don't know about the other men reading he blog, but there is nothing like the feel of that razor shaving your neck.

Wise saying

2008-09-19T10:45:00.004-04:00

I positively hate my sister...there I said it. A we say in spanish...punto y se acabo. The reason is that she was suggesting a fabulous cruise in February and I said, it is too soon, why don't we wait a little (always being so fucking practical) and she responded within nanoseconds "Never say to soon. Too soon was yesterday."

Oh please someone tell me that is somebody else' line otherwise I am going to have to double hate her for being so fucking wise if she came up with it!!

hugs and kisses E..

me
.

here it is ....

2008-09-15T19:22:00.001-04:00

Where have I been… well let’s see… last week we were busy every day. We had guests staying at the Pine Street Annex for a couple of days, granted low intensity guests, but dinner out every day was the norm. On Thursday, I had to leave early from work because I had to go “cleanse” and not in a Mary Kate or Ashley kind of way. Since my sigmoidal colon had been acting up, I was due for a shot or 2 bottles of Mag.Citrate as they call it in the business. In other words.. human Drano. Friday I had a colonoscopy to make sure that I had no other issues on my GI tract.

I drank the potion and the desired effect although not immediate did occur. For once I had no interest in being an overachiever and drinking the 4 million gallons. Moving right along to the hospital…think of the colonoscopy as the bread and butter of hospital income… 10 people at a time, every ½ an hour from 7:30AM to 6:00pm… Very very lucrative. Best part is that they give you great drugs. I don’t remember a thing that happened, although I do remember being kicked out when I wanted to keep taking my siesta. The room was reserved for the next batch of victims.

They give you these disgusting looking pictures to show you your insides (squeaky clean) and send you home. YIKES

Alaska Day 8

2008-09-07T14:06:00.007-04:00

It is always very sad when you have to disembark. We have 2 days in Anchorage, but the food, drinks and environment of the ship will be missed. HOWEVER, we had one more treat. A scenic train ride from the town of Seward up to Anchorage. I was very impressed with the train; immaculately clean, nice big windows and great service. The staff doing the narration was also very good.

As you can see, even from the mayhem of the parking lot as you look up at the mountains it is beautiful.

We had to wake up mighty early but as you can see, we are ready for breakfast on the train. It is a 5 hour ride on the train, vs a 3 hour ride on a bus. We got to see some absolutely spectacular sites.

Once we arrived in Anchorage, we had a quick bite and went to bed mighty early. We had one more day in Anchorage which I used to sleep and then we had a red-eye back to Boston. Lessons from he trip? Skip Anchorage and spend time in Vancouver. Do anything possible not to do a red-eye, we are all to old for that nonsense. This having been the third trip to Alaska, it will probably signals that is time to explore other places. Perhaps the Chilean Fjords and the glaciers in South America!

Alaksa Day 7

2008-09-07T13:43:00.007-04:00

Today is one of my favorites in Alaska. We get to go to Hubbard Glacier, a big ass 300 ft tall and up to 3 mile wide hunk of blue ice that runs up for miles and miles up the mountains. I saw it for the first time about 10 years ago and it was awesome, I was not going to be disappointed today either. As you enter into Glacier Bay at 7:00am we were all bundled up and ready. The first thing you see is the smaller icebergs about the size of a school bus floating out of the bay.

As you approach the glacier, you have no concept of how large it is. This pic was taken about 5 miles away.

The ship is then very slowly positioned sideways as closed as possible to the glacier wall and lingers there for about 1 hour. At this point everyone on the ship is on deck, and those who aren't are looking at it from inside spaces within the ship. What they will miss is the ice calving and what is known as white thunder. Chunks of the glacier crack and are pushed off, once this happens, everyone is scanning for it, big ass chunk of ice falls to the sea and then you hear a glorious "BOOM". To me, it is one of the most incredible sights and sounds.

This is one of my faborite places on earth. Only a few ships a day can enter the bay, and only by permit. If you are choosing an Alaskan cruise, make sure that Hubbard Glacier is on the itinerary!

Alaska Day 6 Click on the pics to enlarge!

2008-09-05T17:02:00.005-04:00

This is a new port for us, Icy Strait Point. It is a tiny island about 3 hour sailing time from Juneau. This will be the only port were we will tender vs dock. Since we had no excursions, we took a leisurely breakfast and headed down to be transported over to land.

This first pic, is the towns new welcome area, very snazzy...the day started incredibly foggy, but it cleared by mid day.

This is a very interesting town. It appears that cruise lines came in and dumped a ton of money to spruce up the place. They have a terrific nature walk, a terrific waterfront walk, great excursions and the mother of all zip-lines. If Adam was with us, I would have had a partner to toss myself down that mountain, but alas, my traveling companions simply said... ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR %#@!* MIND?? Oh well.. we walked around, and went into the village center to have coffee. The bus driver was the husband to the ex-mayor and the father of the current mayor...weird?? not there, population 773.

Paul went comparison shopping at the local supermarket and was horrified at the prices. Roughly 2x what we pay at home.

Alaska Day 5

2008-09-04T21:07:00.016-04:00

Skagway is the little town that has it all. Fishing, trains, helicopters, glaciers, hiking, cycling, shopping...you name it it is there. I had picked the train up the mountain, cycling down the mountain combo. Two of my cyclists were a touch concerned about the incline of the hills, the brakes on the bikes and the precipices next to the road.

The train ride is very interesting since it follows the White Pass into the Yukon territory. The development of Skagway revolves around gold prospecting with such notables as Mr. Nordstrom (as in the retail giant). The area is also called the Klondike. The Travel Channel has an episode about the area which is excellent...but I digress...

As the train goes up the mountain we see the precipices right next to the train. Some of my fellow travelers promptly moved seats to the other side of the train car. As we cross the border into Canada and reach an altitude of about 3400 ft, we have reached our destination.

I had to put this picture in so that you could see the wooden bridge at about 2500 ft.

We are transported by van to our starting location. Once we get out of the van we clearly see that we can't see a bloody thing. The fog/clouds/mist was so dense that you felt wet immediately. Instructions are given and we test our mountain bikes. Now or never...down we go. It is a 15 mile ride from 3400 ft. In the process, we go through US Customs (on the bikes) and pass a handful of incredible waterfalls. Yes I know we look like we have ostrich eggs on our heads. Since it was about 48 at the top of the mountain and raining we had ski hats, ear muffs...etc.

Once we got into town we had to eat something and do a little shopping before heading back to the ship.

Surgeon - "oops! I did it again"

2008-09-04T17:17:00.006-04:00

I forgot to tell you this on one of the recent entries... As you all know I adore my surgeon; if he said jump, without a doubt I would say how high. He tends to brush over certain parts of the collateral damage of the surgeries (since he did this before) and this time when we were talking about range of motion of my left arm he said something to the effect of... we did cut a few nerves that were in the way so that is why you are feeling some numbness (I knew this one before it happened) and the range of motion issue might have to do with the fact that we had to cut the pec minor. He had mentioned the possibility but now he confirmed it. I realize that some of my conversations with the man are under serious sedation, but I need to pay more attention! By the way, does this mean that if I go swimming I can only go in circles?

Alaska Day 4

2008-09-04T16:36:00.008-04:00

We woke up very very early since our excursion pick up time was 7:30 and we had to have breakfast. After all, we don't want the little white bag in the helicopter to go empty if we need to... do we! As you can tell, once we put all our cold and wet weather gear we were ready to start, but (and my comrades in flight were not thrilled) we also had to wear a life vest since we would be flying over water.

We flew over the glacier for about 20 minutes and it was just spectacular, on our flight we also had a grandmother and son team, the woman was 70 and had more energy than all of us put together...she was doing dog mushing with us, whale watching later and finally fishing. As we arrive at the dog camp, we realize the size of the landing site, about 3 miles wide and about 900 feet deep(of ice).

This is the intrepid team next to the helicopter, don't we look good!!

and so we mushed

Finally back to base camp. An incredible adventure and one that although expensive, I would recommend to anyone.

Alaska Day 3

2008-09-04T16:24:00.009-04:00

This is a typical coffee clutch date with Eileen, we sit there with our lattes, watch the world go by and read our books. Notice the not a care in the world looks we have, this is why I think a world cruise would be a great adventure.

Back to the action...Ketchikan is our port for day 3. Tiny little village that used to be big in the salmon canning business. An interesting thing that I had never considered was that once all those dumb salmons go upstream to die, the smell in the town as reported by a local is disgusting...How come they never say that in the Discovery Channel? We walked around town and did nothing much since it was pouring rain and we didn't have an excursion today. Juneau will be an early day and for two members of our crew, there is a helicopter to deal with...

and so we cruise up the inside passage some more

Today's visit

2008-09-04T16:11:00.002-04:00

The brief description of today can be figured out by the diagnosis the doctor gave us NEOD. We were completely puzzled by what he was saying but you know that in today's world everything is done by the first letters. Here is an exam for you with the possible choices that went through my mind

a) No erotica on display
b) No evidence of disease
c) New England Ophthalmologic drugs
d) Never ever on diapers

The correct answer is b). YEAH… we are clean for the next three months when we repeat the process. Cancer 2.0 is over and done with…HALLELUJAH. Now for the realist in me, I am very aware that the real answer is, as far as the detection ability of the cat scan is concerned you are disease free. Having said that, I will take that NEOD answer!

My dearest nephew asked me what I was going to do to celebrate and when my respond was go to work he said... your are condemned either way!, but he also had "I will survive" playing in the background...very funny Rene!

No Sleep..Obsessed..and nothing happened

2008-09-03T18:54:00.006-04:00

That is the summary of the scan today. I obsess all night about it, particularly about how was my arm going to behave when I stretched it over my head, fell asleep at about 12:30, and that is NOT good for my beauty sleep! Of course, I woke up early and left to go to the hospital. Needless to say the OCD - twin sister (mentally not biologically) arrived also early within seconds of my arrival.

I went early because every time I had to do a pelvic and abdomen scan, I had to drink the barium potion. Then you wait an hour and they scan you. My appointment was for 8:00 and as eight approached I am thinking to myself... potion and late..fuck fuck fuck. At precisely 8:00, the nurse comes over and asks me to go in..hmmmm no potion... strange?#!... She asked me to drop my pants, and to lay on the table... MIRACOLO!! she got the needle in on the first try...love that woman. Suddenly I realize that it is a brand new CT Scanner, the hole is bigger than normal by about 4 inches. Even though the arm did not behave and extend back as much as possible, it was enough to make it without hitting the damn machine.

For all of you who have done it, you know the voice...hold your breath 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 breath... HATE THAT!

Alaska day 2 Inside Passage

2008-09-02T20:33:00.004-04:00

Slept all night and part of the morning, that damn jet-lag always gets me. The inside passage is a very cool geographical formation. There are very large mountains right next to the ocean on both sides, just a phenomenal sight. Lucky for us, our balcony was right under a cantilever extension from the floor above because it was raining like a mofo. The temperature had also dropped from 80 in Boston to 70 in Vancouver to 57 in the inside passage. The ship has an indoor salt water heated (98 degrees) pool that is just marvelous for relaxing all those aching muscles and reminding my arm that warm is good...cold is bad.

Life on board is an easy routine, breakfast, book, look out, latte, lunch, book, pool, latte, look out, shower, dinner, sleep, repeat. At least those are the sea days. This was a 3 book trip, all of them good I might add.

happy happy joy joy

2008-09-02T20:01:00.003-04:00

After all the joy and laughter and great food and all that good stuff...reality bites back. No it is not work, that is still there and fun as usual, it is not a crappy wine or a poorly mixed martini. Tomorrow is BARIUM TIME...yes folks it is time for a lovely 500 ml drink of cold chemically enhanced berry flavored barium. As usual, I will have the fight with the nurse regarding the amount I have to drink. By now, I know that 1 bottle is plenty to have good results, then there is the nurse that will try to put the needle in my arm for the contrast dye... not on the left arm please...and then there is the "put both arms over your head to fit in the tube...that will be very interesting since my left arm as measured by the psycho therapist can only go to 145 degrees instead of 180. Results on Thursday

not in order I know...

2008-09-02T19:53:00.003-04:00

Today as I crossed the toll plaza of the Tobin Bridge, I thought to myself... I bet there is no traffic in Anchorage right now...on the other hand it does rain a lot in Alaska and the permafrost is only 10 feet deep. When I woke up from daydreaming the mini-van in front of me was actually letting me merge in front of them...it must be from out of state, as I looked in the rear view mirror..the car's license plate was from Alaska...what are the odds!

Alaska Day 1

2008-09-01T11:51:00.005-04:00

Yes, we are back and had a great time, however...I wanted to tell about the expedition. Pictures will be loaded tomorrow or the day after once we have gotten used to the time change and the red eye flight from Seattle. Back to the beginning.. we had to wake up at 3:30am to get to the airport for our 6:10am flight. Needless to say I needed coffee in the worst way. We had a change of planes in Toronto and 1 hour to eat a quick breakfast...I was looking for the Canadian equivalent of Dunkin Donuts...Tim Hortons, but they did not have an outlet in the gate area where we were. We ended up having crappy breakfast food and rushing to the gate.

The flights were completely uneventful and luckily went by fast. Arriving at Vancouver I was reminded what a great city it is. This time around however we were destined to board the ship relatively quickly since we were all trying to get a nap before the ship departed. I have to admit that I love the idea of a cruise, the fact that a ship floats being top heavy is amazing to me and as soon as the ties are losened I completely relax. As a weird point of pride, I did not check emails or phone messages all week...

Does a bear??? and other things

2008-08-21T13:22:00.002-04:00

We have spent the week in New Hampshire since the house finally was handed over to us last Friday. For the first few days we slept on air mattresses… always fun trying to get up from that level. Most of the furniture is in and looking mighty fine. Very lodge arts and crafts bungalow. Since I’ve been commuting to work from the mountains Paul has been in charge of all the movers and setup.

It has been very interesting this communing with nature thing… we have seen deer and a Senor Frog lost its life under my car the other morning. HOWEVER, the most interesting one has been the visit of a small black bear to the house. It seems that right after I left to go to work, Paul heard some noises outside, when he went to look, he saw a cub by the front door of the house. I thought the bear had smelled the Chinese food left over we had inside the house… now I look before I cross the street and I look before I open the front door.

Tomorrow is off to Alaska… the ^*&^ (flight is at 6:00am which means that we have to be at the airport by 4:15 am at the absolute latest. Hopefully we will sleep a little on the flight to Vancouver otherwise with the 3 hour time difference we will be sleeping in the soup by the time dinner is served at 8:30 PM.

Physical Therapy

2008-08-15T18:21:00.003-04:00

This week I've been going to physical therapy to see if I improve the mobility and range of motion of my arm. The therapist...from now on referred to as Olga the beast (OTB)has moved, prodded, stretched and in general caused excruciating pain. HOWEVER, whereas in the beginning I could only do 90 degree movement, now I can go to 140 degrees. Hopefully this next week she will push the arm to go the whole distance.

A voice from the past

2008-08-08T07:55:00.004-04:00

Once a year, I get a call from someone I use to work with many moons ago. When I was cantankerous in training, this person showed me the way to true cantankerism. We worked together for about 15 years. During the phone call, he cleared up who it was that left me a birthday message in the blog back it June. Interestingly it was from my old boss. I remember him as being the person that took me to Japan and Hong Kong and basically let me run around like a kid in the candy store. It was on that trip that after not eating anything (did not like the food in Japan) for about 10 days I stole the peanuts from the person sleeping next to me on the plane. That was also the trip were I bought my beloved watch. Many things happened since that trip, some good some not so good, but it was good to know everyone is in one piece and doing well.

I'm back....

2008-08-07T19:17:00.002-04:00

I guess I have a lot more readers than I ever thought! Sorry to have been away from the blog (as many have told me!), but I’ve been working and getting home, eating, going to bed and repeating...currently exhausted . There are days that not even checking the mail gets done. You can imagine that for an OCD person like myself that is just unacceptable.

Alaska is only 14 days away, I think I will end up packing this week-end since we are about ready to take possession of the house on the mountain on the 15th. I think I will be commuting from there to work for that week. I guess I also have to pack for that week up there, damn...laundry in two different locations!. The logistics are getting interesting! I will post photos of the house as soon as the furniture starts arriving.

Which brings me to, I got a new camera since my old one just would not hold battery charge anymore. Granted, it was 10 years old and as big as a house, but I really liked it. This time around, the new one is about the size of a deck of cards. Very excited to put it to good use in Alaska and New Hampshire. Eileen also got a camera so finally I might actually be in some pictures since I tend to be the one taking the pics.

I don't give a sheet

2008-08-01T14:52:00.002-04:00

First there was pre-cooked meals, then pre-washed jeans...I just bought new sheets for my bed, (white of course) and the first thing I had to do was to wash them. I assume that everyone washes their sheets before sleeping on them for the first time. Why can't they at least pre-wash them before putting them in the package, would we trust that they were trully ready to be slept on or would we wash them anyway... I suspect I would wash them anyway.

Oh what a day

2008-07-31T19:33:00.006-04:00

First off, I had a request to peak to one of our cruising companions about their wardrobe. It seems that once again the idea of appropriate clothing is trying to pass as "comfort". It seem that this person wants to dress like Paul Bunyan in a luxury ship. Then he will bitch that people look awful and not well put together...HELLO Mr Bunyan the invitation for cocktails said jacket and tie... oh oh.. and then he will say why don't we dance...for fuck sake, look at those shoes and socks... even the Chinese have now decided that white socks and leather shoes are a no go... maybe next thing will be no socks and sandals!

Moving along, worked all week and it was interesting. Some stress lots of moving around and a month end closing. Best part is that I found a new Italian Deli that uses exceptionally good bread in their sandwiches. However, by Wednesday I was tired by days end today I was exhausted. Need to get more energy soon.

Doctor reports... Tuesday I go to see the gastroenterologist, if I was a psychic I would say I have a colonoscpy in my very near future... triple eeekkk. Then I get a 4 week brake before the next CT Scan right after we come back from Alaska. Since my arm movements are progressing I hope that I can get into the tunnel with both arms raised over my head... we shall see what happens.

One last thing... 22 days to Alaska and I can't wait...I have this friend Luis.. we have been friends since first grade and were always together. Later in life we always kept in touch and he has been my only real connection back to Puerto Rico. Today, by coincidence he calls from Anchorage to say hi... love weird coincidences... and now I have a recommendation for a good place for lunch... The Glacier Brew House.

it's over

2008-07-26T12:18:00.004-04:00

As of Monday, my disability is over and I am back full time at work. I can't wait to a) have the distraction of leaving the apartment and b) the interaction with my people. Even though I visited all week last week, that was just re-entry. Next week I have every intention in shaking things up and surprising a few people. Some will be happy, some might not be.

I am a firm believer in stirring the pot... and the pot will be stirred... it seem that some people need the ladle ... never mind...

Alaska or bust

2008-07-24T17:25:00.001-04:00

First of all, 29 days to go to Alaska… can’t wait! Things I am looking forward to, a big change of scene, mushing on the glacier, bicycling down the mountain and of course… eating like a pig. Only thing I am not looking forward to…The red-eye flight back from Seattle..YUKE Secondly, 531 days to the world cruise. Still have that in my head, let’s see if we can make it work.

Besides some daydreaming, I am sitting at work after having navigated through the streets of Boston. We have been inundated the last couple of days with torrential rains and the water decided to stay on all the main roads and wait for my car to part the seas. It has been very interesting that the normal never ending New England drizzle has been changed to tropical monsoons. The commute has absolutely sucked!

No shower for me

2008-07-23T17:10:00.000-04:00

Today I woke up to no shower. As I turned the knob to start the water I clearly noticed that NOTHING was coming out of the shower head. Not a good start to the day. I called downstairs to see if it was our apartment, the building, the town or the universe, maybe we had an alien attack and there is no more water. A water main broke down the street… great no shower this morning… super suck… I did a decent job in the grooming and cleaning with the available resources and a little cologne to mask any odors and of we go. Meanwhile not even 10 minutes later, Paul calls and announces that the water has been turned on again. Crappy timing !

Sleeping and other things

2008-07-23T17:07:00.000-04:00

The past few days have been very uneventful. I have been going to work every day for about 4-6 hours and getting the arm use to the long ride up to New Hampshire. Overall, not bad. The only problem that we are encountering right now is that the fluid that used to drain out of the body and into the bottle has nowhere to go. Until different areas of the body get use to reabsorbing it, I have small bumps of fluid. They seem to be mostly under and around the armpit and I seem to notice them most when I go to sleep… try to sleep that is. I’ve yet to find a comfortable position since I prefer to sleep face down and the arm does not like to extend that much to accommodate that position. That means that I end up trying to sleep on my side with a pillow under my arm or sleeping on my back which I absolutely hate. Not even my trusted Tylenol PM helps on this one.

The little things that pop up

2008-07-17T18:37:00.002-04:00

Interestingly, this time around I asked both surgeons what other body parts of functions were going to be affected by the surgery. One of them has been that under the upper part of my arm and a little of the forearm, it has gone numb. Numb is not right, it is more like hypersensitive with a side of numbness. This in turn has made going through the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts interesting. I end up giving the money and retrieving my coffee with the right hand while holding the steering wheel with the left hand or the leg. This is such fun!

That was where???

2008-07-16T15:06:00.002-04:00

Yesterday at the doctors I was dreading the pain of the tube coming out. Best case scenario, it would just feel weird, so to ameliorate any possibility of pain, a double dose of Vicodan was in order. Once the doctor arrived at the examining room, he had an outloud debate with himself about the merits of taking the tube out or leaving it in. He finally agreed with himself that the best course of action would be to take the fucking tube out.

I braced for the worst...see during the last surgery, they yanked 3 tubes out of my belly and those hurt like a MOFO...so nurse Paul positions himself with grand stand viewing of my face and the tube....the doctor says are you ready...and he pulls...i feel absolutely nothing, HOWEVER he shows me this 12 inch section of tubing and says, not bad, all that was in your shoulder... NO WONDER IS WAS SO FUCKING PAINFUL!

Once again...

2008-07-14T20:11:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow we go to doctor to see if the bastard is going to finally take the tube out of my armpit. I realize that this is way too much information, BUT I have not worn any deodorant for at least 4 months on the left armpit and I don't smell... So according to doctor last time, they would like the flow out of the armpit to be less than 40cc per day.. however I am still about twice that much... If they tell me to keep the tube in longer I will either punch the doctor or pull my arm out... I AM DESPERATE

what is in my head today???

2008-07-11T13:13:00.003-04:00

Let's see consider today's blog a bunch of unrelated thoughts.

The "company" or the assisted visiting service has been put on an on-call basis. They do not need to come over every day, unless they need to do laundry.

I can't wait for Tuesday, I am about to rip that damn drainage tube out. It is driving me crazy and completely hindering movement. Last night Paul patiently (and me with a vicodan) pushed a blob that was clogging the tube down to the drainage bulb. Mother fucker hurt! but the tube fluid is clear now. Thanks nurse Paulsito.

We have decided to fit one way or the other a trip to Alaska before my next set of scans and doctor appointments. Think of it as a vacation from the recuperation. There are 2 excursions I want to do mushing on the glacier and perhaps cycling down a mountain.

The builder in New Hampshire is driving me nutty... they claim they will be done by July 31st but all the lamps, bathroom stuff, knobs fans and accessories are still in Quincy.. mmmm

I started knitting another sweater, burn orange/red for me. If you go back in the blog, I gave my green cable sweater to my brother in law.

World Cruise 114 days L.A. to Ft Lauderdale

2008-07-08T17:03:00.004-04:00

I realize I might be just dreaming with pregnant birds, but I really am going to try to pull this one off. I received the 2010 from Holland America (it is not published yet, but if you request it they send it to you) A couple of highligts, one of them being Antartica cruising, possibly Macchu Pichu, 3 ports in South Africa, The Seychelles, and lots of Vietnam/China/Japan.

Regrettably, no Australia or New Zeland. I day dream about this trip constantly, so stay tuned for 2010 to see if I'm on the ship.!

The Flu

2008-07-08T16:55:00.003-04:00

What can I say...nothing simple for this boy. On Saturday we were supposed to go up to Waterville to see if there had been progress in the house, but Paul had developed a cold. Needless to say if the main nurse is sick, eventually the patient will be too. By Sunday, I was starting the sniffles and the aches. Monday, it was sniffles aches and upset stomach. By today, all I do is fall asleep everywhere, hopefully by tomorrow, I can start taking ailments off the list. One way or the other, I am going to work next week.

New fun blogs

2008-07-04T21:05:00.002-04:00

These two blogs are my latest guilty pleasures... They are also very interesting since it is clearly a different point of view.

Galley Gossip and the cockpit chronicles.

Holland America Vs Cunard

2008-07-04T20:29:00.002-04:00

For whatever reason, since cancer 1.0 I've had this thing about finally doing a world cruise. After much research, we have decided that the two cruise lines in contention are Holland America and Cunard (Queen Victoria). Needless to say, it is not an inexpensive trip because of the lenght of the trip (between 90-100 days).

It would be ultra cool if we pick the Queen Victoria for he world cruise and my readers would join us for the last leg of the trip, the 6 day crossing from Southampton England to New York City.

the good doctor speaks

2008-07-04T10:15:00.006-04:00

On Wednesday, I had to visit my main surgeon doctor. Needless to say, I adore this man, not only for having incredible hands, but his demeanor is always just wonderful. After going through the official chatter, we got down to business. He showed us in close up the latest X-ray they had taken that morning. I have at least 40 staples all over the place plus about 9 cable ties holding my sternum together. Not bad for 2 big surgeries, it looks like Home Depot.

Then his tone turned (at least that was my perception) and basically said that the cancer had most likely spread through the blood stream and that we needed to be aware it could happen again. They did leave a tiny bit behind attached to the axillary artery and that would be treated with either chemo or radiation. Needless to say, tiny bit behind is not what I wanted to hear, take the whole fucking thing and call it a day. I have asked Eileen to make a blog entry to see what her perception was since I think we were both a little shocked.

As I mentioned to the doctor that January 2010 I had a 4 month vacation planned (the world cruise! more on that next entry) and to make sure I was alive and well. His answer.. "let's take one season at a time" yikes it sounded ominous... either way, I got home and started planning all the cruises from now till the world cruise. I need practice and stamina!

Meltdowns are not just for Ice Cream

2008-07-02T08:55:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, I had a full nuclear meltdown... It was hot, it was humid and the doctor said that the drain had to remain in place for 1 to 2 more weeks. He wanted me to be moving my arm clear above my head and to walking around. All this was said with a lovely "I understand it hurts but you will have to deal with it" face. After that he proceeded to "milk" the drain tube (OUCH OUCH OUCH)and send me on my merry way.

Contrary to cancer 1.0 in which my mind was in a haze all the time and breathing was more important that any other problem, this time, I am perfectly lucid but unable to do things because the arm just doesn't do what my brain tells it to. This is a royal pain in the cojones and the arm. Two more weeks of this will be an endurance test, as is my mind is turning on me and what usually does not bother me, becomes a gigantic issue. When is this crap going to be done? according to the most recent estimates end of July or so, but I won't have any illusion that it will be that way.

At this point everyone expects me to pull through in my usual stoic manner, but for 24 hours, I will bitch and moan and simply say... this is a fucking pain in the ass and it would be nice if it was over and resolved... since it is not going to happen that quickly, my answer to everything from now on is... fine, I am doing just fine... I will be concentrating very hard to make it sound like I mean it.

where we are today

2008-06-29T11:07:00.004-04:00

Not much has happened... I am pretty much stuck home except when Eileen takes me out to lunch. All I seem to do is sleep and watch TV but hopefully when they take that damn drain out my mobility will increase.

As of right now, this totally sucks. My arm still hurts like a mother... I wake up to take a shower and to hope that night comes soon so that I can go to sleep and time would go faster. I realize patience is not my middle name!

Tomorrow I see surgeon#2 and I suspect all he is going to do is pull the drain out (I hope) tell me that it looks great and send me home with some new exercises. I don't believe he will ad anything that we don't know yet. For that we will have to wait till Thursday when we see surgeon #1

Finally done!

2008-06-27T09:12:00.006-04:00

After 4 months and change, sweater cancer 2.0 is done. Hallelujah and all that stuff. I was going blind and crazy by the end, but it is done done done. Mr Lemire is officially off the sweater list for a few months.

Best questions yet.

2008-06-24T18:51:00.002-04:00

Dear Dr Decamp:

Will I be able to still make those farting sounds with my armpit?

me

PS.... this was Jessie's question and a great question at that... (btw great card!)

Did that hurt??

2008-06-23T18:48:00.002-04:00

Paul devised this idea were he cut up a small slice in the armpit of a and I can pass the drain collection bulb and put it in the shirt pocket. This system has worked beautifully so far. The visiting nurse came in today to check up on the drain and the wound and was very impressed with the contraption. Paul had left the bandage over the wound with temporary tape after my shower so that she could check out the wound. As expected, that passed with flying colors... however I had a complaint about "goop" appearing to clog the drain tube, she said "oh that is easy, you basically proceed to milk the tube and it will work itself through". She then proceeded to do this as if it was a basement sump pump. I unleash a few expletives in Spanish AND English... at which points she says I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT WOULD HURT. FUCKING OUCH!

one more technical point...

2008-06-22T10:54:00.002-04:00

It seems that the doctors have some doubts as to all the stuff that they did take out and some of the stuff left behind. In order to clue in the radiologist as to where these areas might be, the left a few pieces of metal pointing at the areas they want to particularly pay attention on my next scan.

Also, this drain thing I have connected to my armpit is getting very old. It is draining less and less every day, but it is a pain in the ass. Luckily, I think it will be removed on July 1st when I see surgeon #2.

The technical stuff

2008-06-20T07:50:00.003-04:00

The generous incision is very good looking and Paul has taken over changing bandages cleaning the incision. I really haven't been able to see it since it is under the arm in the armpit area and raising the arm hurst like a mother fucker. So far, the drainage is consistent and the correct color.

The muscles areound the incision are incredibly sore and if it weren't for the vicodan it owuld be unbearable. From what I understand, both surgeons were putting their enire hands inside the incision, OUCH! The good news is that my pumpkin help me take the first real shower today, and I fel human again. The man is going for sainthood, first my family and then me!

Oh great... the Celtics play tonight

2008-06-19T17:04:00.002-04:00

While trying to sleep face up and on serious drugs, I realize that my room-mate was going to have the Celtics game on all night. The man could not stop complaining about verything and anything and had the TV as loud as he could. Fianlly around 2:00 when I thought it was over, he gets on the phone. Sleep was just not going to happen, but at least my favorite nurse Katie, was in charge of the floor and she visited me and cchatted with me when I was up. Love the staff at BI!

Overnite at the Hilton

2008-06-19T16:43:00.002-04:00

It is very funny when the nursing staff greets you by name when coming out of the elevators. I wanted a private room, but thoracic surgery has move to the 6th floor and the accommodations are certainly not up to snuff. I had a room-mate who would not shut up talking, but I was nice and high on a combination of morphine and percocets... YUMMY! The pain in my chest cavity is pretty bad 7 out of 10, but they must have strapped the arm down while doing the surgery in some weird ass position because it hurts like 2 vicodans/every 4 hours. The wording of the surgeons has been very interesting..." we accomplished what we set out to do" but I am not sure what that really means.

BI Hilton by the women on the street reporter

2008-06-19T16:39:00.001-04:00

The whole family arrived at the BI Hilton at 5:45am. Mimita came in looking composed and smiling in his sweatpants and T-shirt. In typical BI fashion where things go like clockwork by 6:45 Mima was going to the much awaited surgery. The fact that the surgeon came to meet and reassure everyone by 8:00 always works like magic and again, even if scared, there is comfort in knowing that our Mima is in the best hands. Promptly at 10:30 the Drs. (yes, including the handsome one who does not look as handsome in his surgeon gown) came in to explain that they had done "everything they set out to accomplish". By 2:00 Mimita was back in the room looking very handsome: good color, a smile and even tried to keep up with the conversation. Nothing like having a conversation with Mima on drugs! He could be leaving the hospital as early as tomorrow or the next day.

As I try to describe the scene at the waiting room I will need to go to Tolstoy for guidance. He said, "All happy families are alike; each dysfunctional family is dysfunctional in its own way." For the purists, yes, I am paraphrasing. We got through the day with a heavy dosage of humor and with my younger brother playing at times interference and at others, Dennis the Menace. I am forever indebted to him and may need to do his windows for quite some time. Paul wins the award for the most cool, collected and diplomatic person. It turns out Paul speaks Spanish better than anyone knew and when speaking in English he speaks so slowly and pronounces so well that my mother understands him perfectly. He won over my mother which is no easy task.

We all muddled through as best we could and if we keep this up, we might actually make it to Friday.

after dinner drinks

2008-06-16T20:24:00.002-04:00

Granted I can't drink, but dinner was a relatively civilized event. Everyone was on their best behavior and barely an inadequate statement was made. There was still some excitement, but it was mostly expected. We drove home and now I am on the last obsessive point. My little bag with toiletries, underwear and soxs is ready and since there is nothing else to do, all I can do is obsess...

So for now... ciao... more news as soon as I can.

Less than 24 hours...

2008-06-16T11:34:00.008-04:00

Thank you all for sending all the good vibes for tomorrow. I sincerely hope the surgeon gets a good night sleep, so I am grateful the Celtics don't play tonight. I am scheduled to be in the pre-op bed at 6:00am and in surgery at 7:30. I would expect to be out and semi-conscious by 11:30 or so... unless I am asleep in which case, I am just catching up on my beauty sleep. The plan is that I will be home by Thursday.

Because I only bring you actual analysis and I am going to be indisposed, we have hired a women on the street (Eileen) to fill us in on the events while I am out like a light. Those blogs will be posted on Thursday.

In the meantime, the family is arriving in 2 hours or so and the big top starts at around 5:30pm with the preprandrial events.

When they are trying to help...don't complain

2008-06-13T16:42:00.002-04:00

It was very interesting to see how other people react to the questionnaire they give you before the Pre-Op or the MRI. I had three instances today in which the patients filling the forms kept bitching and moaning about how stupid the questions on the survey were. Do you have any previous conditions such as.. do you have metal anywhere in your body... these people could not a) shut up and b) realize that it is kind of important to let the nurses know if you have a metal part that the M in MRI (magnetic!) could damage. UGH!!! dense dense dense.

a little vacation

2008-06-13T07:09:00.002-04:00

I realize that I haven't posted anything for a few days. I booked a mental trip and was having a lovely time in my happy place... there was fabulous food, great accommodations and a mean margarita... oh no wait that is Maroma in Mexico... well, anyway it was just lovely.. and no jet lag either. Don't I wish ...

I woke up at the crack of dawn (god knows why) for my pre-op and MRI appointment, both easy things (except for the needle before the MRI). Since I have about 2 hours between appointments, I plan to do some knitting... 100 rows to go and I finish that infernal sweater. The Monday night dinner is turning into a carnival... all it needs now are a few side shows, considering those who will attend, a side show will be expected.

1 week to go

2008-06-09T19:22:00.002-04:00

and it seems the preparations will be as big as a feast day for a saint in the North End of Boston... Mother is coming and my brother will play the role of handler, hopefully there will be no casualties.

Today, I wound myself up to the point of making myself ill. Interesting that once I was by myself, I was able to bring myself back to my regular RPM's.

I am pre-op again....

2008-06-06T14:19:00.003-04:00

A date has finally been set Tuesday the 17th, I need to be at the hospital by 6:00am. That should be no problem since I doubt that I wwill sleep much the night before. Now, the next step is to knit like a maniac and finish as much as possible Paul's sweater (I have one arm to go) get my guys at work set up for my absence of 1 week from work and then do my pre-op appointment at the BI Hilton and have another head and neck MRI.

I am catiously optimistic about the whole thing...